An Alien couple travelled down to earth to visit a swinging party.
They swapped partners with an earth couple and went off to their respective bedrooms. The alien man takes off his clothes to reveal a less than impressive sized penis. The woman is clearly not impressed.
The alien then twists his right ear and his penis grows to 10 inches in length. The woman is suddenly pleased with what she sees.
The alien then twists his left ear and his penis becomes 2 inches thick before then giving the woman the best time she has ever had.
Afterwards she meets back up with her husband and asks him what experience he had.
A store that sells new husbands has opened in New York City , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 – These men Have Jobs
She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:
Floor 2 – These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
‘That’s nice,’ she thinks, ‘but I want more.’
So she continues upward. The third floor sign r eads:
Floor 3 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.
‘Wow,’ she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth f loor and the sign reads:
Floor 4 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework.
‘Oh, mercy me!’ she exclaims, ‘I can hardly stand it!’
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 5 – These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor. Continue reading
Two men are in the pub.
One says to the other, “Can you guess the odd one out from, a, egg, b, wife, c, blowjob?”
His friend replies, “That’s easy, the answer’s c, a blowjob.”
“How do you work that out?”
Enter to see picture.
One day a young man and woman were in their bedroom making love. All of a sudden a bumble bee entered the bedroom window. As the young lady parted her legs the bee entered her vagina. The woman started screaming, “Oh my god, help me, there’s a bee in my vagina!”.
The husband immediately took her to the local doctor and explained the situation. The doctor thought for a moment and said, “Hmm, tricky situation. But I have a solution to the problem if young sir would permit”.
A kid gets a job in a small department store. On his first day, the manager shows him around,and explains that the company policy was to sell a product, with a product. The kid looked confused… so the manager said he would show him what he meant.
Now, it just so happened that a customer approached the manager and asked if they sold grass seed.
“Certainly”, pointing to the wide range of seed boxes, “and what sort of lawn mower would you like?”
The customer looked baffled, so the manager went on “Well, you will sow the grass, the grass will grow,and you will need a lawn mower to cut it”,
“I hadn’t thought of that”, says the customer, “I’ll take the lawn mower as well then”…and the customer leaves the store happy.
A man and his wife were driving on the highway one night when he got pulled over by the cops for speeding.
The cop walks up and informs the man of his unlawful deed.
“I never speed,” says the man.
The wife chimes in, “Oh yes you do – all the time!”