A doctor had his students in an anatomy class where they were dissecting a body.
The doctor said, “Rule 1: Dont be repulsed by anything in the human body”.
So he stuck his finger up the corpse’s ass, pulled his finger out & sucked it! He told the students 2 do the same. Continue reading
A third grade teacher asked her class to come back the next day with a story that you can attach a moral to.
The next day,the first little girl went to the front. “Me and my daddy run a farm and when we went to sell our eggs the basket tipped over and we lost all our eggs. my moral:don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”
A little boy came to the front. “Me and my dad run a farm too,and only six of the twelve eggs hatched in the incubator.my morel:don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”
A second little girl came up and said: “My uncle Eddie was a fighter pilot in Vietnam, and was shot down over enemy territory. All he had floating down was a bottle of whiskey,a machine gun,and a machette. He drank the whiskey to not waste it and landed in the middle of a hundred vietnamese soldiers. He killed seventy with the machine gun,twenty with the machette before it broke,and ten with his bare hands.”
“O my god! How does that have a moral to it?”her teacher asked.
A teacher asks her class to make a sentence using the word dough.
Little Alice says, “In Italy they make pizza out of special dough”. Excellent says the teacher.
Little Mary says, “My brother makes dinosaurs out of playdough”. Well done says the teacher.
Little Johnny raises his hand, “Yes Johnny, what do you want to say?” asks the teacher. Continue reading
John was a salesman’s delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.
‘Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?’ asked John.
‘Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,’ said Tommy.
The robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair. Continue reading
A first-grade teacher, Ms Brooks was having trouble with one of her students.
The teacher asked, “Harry what is your problem?” Harry answered, “I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!”
Ms Brooks had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office. While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was.
The principal told Ms Brooks he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed. Continue reading
It is near the end of the school year. The students have turned in all their work and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless and the teacher decides to have an early dismissal.
Teacher: “Whoever answers the questions I ask, first and correctly can leave early today.”
Timmy says to himself “Good, I want to get outta here. I’m smart and will answer the question.”
Teacher: “Who said ‘Four Score and Seven Years Ago’?”
Before Timmy can open his mouth, Susie says, “Abraham Lincoln.”
Teacher: “That’s right Susie, you can go home.” Continue reading
Teacher asks “Tim, why is your cat at school today?”
One day a college professor was greeting his new college class.
He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand.
After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.