Air traffic controller in D.C. fell asleep so two planes had to land themselves. Luckily the pilots were drunk or they'd be terrified.
— Jill Twiss (@jilltwiss) March 24, 2011
A man had just settled into his seat next to the window on the plane when another man sat down in the aisle seat and put his black Labrador Retriever in the middle seat next to the man. The first man looked very quizzically at the dog and asked why the dog was allowed on the plane.
The second man explained that he was a DEA agent and that the dog was a ‘sniffing dog’. “His name is Sniffer and he’s the best there is. I’ll show you once we get airborne, when I put him to work.”
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A man in a taxi taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screams bloody murder, loses control of the cab, and swerves onto the sidewalk before stopping just inches from a lamppost.
After checking to make sure the passenger is OK, the driver says, “I’m sorry, but you scared the daylights out of me.”
“Sorry. I didn’t realize a simple tap on the shoulder would freak you out so much,” the passenger says.
“It’s not your fault,” replies the cabbie. “Today is my first day on the job after 25 years of driving a hearse.”