An offer to good to refuse

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office… But she was dating someone else.

One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, ‘I’ll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you…

The girl looked at him, and then said, ‘NO!’

Eddie said, ‘I’ll be real fast. I’ll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I’ll finish by the time you’ve picked it up. ‘

She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend…So she called him and explained the situation.

Her boyfriend says, ‘Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won’t even be able to get his pants down.’

She agreed and accepts the proposal. Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend’s call.. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, ‘What happened…?’

Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, ‘The bastard had all dimes!’

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The Naked Truth …..

This guy is having an affair with a married woman and her husband comes home early from work one day. She jumps up and tells the man to go into the bathroom to hide. Just as he gets in the bathroom and she hides his clothes under the bed, the husband opens the door and comes in. He asks, ”What the hell are you doing?”

Thinking quickly, the wife says, ”Uhm…waiting for you.”

The suspicious husband looks at her in disbelief and says, ”But you’re naked.”

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Second Opinion …..

This one guy has a wife who he’s shared great sex with for years. He decides that to check if his wife really is the sex goddess he believes her to be, and decides to have sex with 5 of the best prostitutes in the area to see if they are better or worse than his wife.

The first prostitute isn’t even close, and the 2nd, 3rd and 4th ones aren’t either. By the time the man reaches the 5th, he’s confident that his wife really is the best at sex.

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The Confessional …..

A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, ‘I almost had an affair with another woman.’

The priest said, ‘What do you mean, almost?’

The Irishman said, ‘Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.’

The priest said, ‘Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put €50 in the poor box .’

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In Love …..

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

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Long range relationships …..

Bob joined in the army.

After 4 months of being in the army, his girlfriend sent him a letter saying she’d slept with 2 guys since he’d left and wanted to break-up and gor hime to return all the pictures he had of her.

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