Twelve Catholic priests were about to be ordained. The final test was for them to line up in a straight row, totally nude, in a garden while a sexy, beautiful, big breasted, nude model danced before them.
Each priest had a small bell attached to his weenie, and they were told that anyone whose bell rang when she danced in front of them would not be ordained because he had not reached a state of spiritual purity.
Mrs. Smith bought herself a lovely parrot, and brought him home to her house. Unfortunatley, Mrs. Smith had a habit of gossiping on the phone, so her parrot heard all the towns secrets.
So when her husbands birthday rolled around, Mrs. Smith held a party at her house.
As her guests arrived, the parrot was sure to pipe up with a comment about them…
for instance when father Murphy walked in, the parrot yelled “Father Murphy is an alcoholic!”
Then when Mr. and Mrs. Wilson walked in, the parrot yelled “Mr. Wilson is sleeping with his secretary!”
This went on all night, and soon the entire room was ready to kill the parrot.
Finally, Mr. Smith heard enough and he told his wife he was going to kill the damn parrot for embarassing them so much… but as he approached the bird, it suddenly screamed “you have a huge dick!”, and Mr. Smith wheeled around and said “Well, I guess the damn bird is telling the truth about you guys as well!”