Paddy and Mick sat having a pint. A lorry goes past with rolls of turf on it.
Paddy says, “Im gonna do that when i win the lottery”.
Mick says, “What, drive a wagon?”
A blonde was just fired from her job and could not find a new one.
She prayed to God to let her win the lottery.
The week passed and she didn’t win. She thought, oh well there’s still next week. During that week, she couldn’t pay the phone bill and once again prayed to win the lottery.
Once again she didn’t win.
Next week she lost her electricty because she couldn’t pay the bill. She thought God didn’t want her to win the lottery, but prayed again, and lost again.
She went outside looked up and said, “God, why won’t you let me win?!?”
The blonde suddenly heard the voice of God. It said, “Well, you gotta help a little bit. Go buy a frickin’ ticket!!”