Merchandising

The wife has been away to a Meatloaf concert and came back with some new knickers.

On the front it says “I will do anything for love” . . .

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James Bond’s watch

A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”!

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Police Statement

A man has been found dead in a river this morning wearing an England Football shirt, women’s knickers, fishnet stockings, suspenders, a blow up doll attached to his penis and a dildo inserted in his anus. Continue reading

Who’s the boss? …..

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were undressing for bed, the husband, a big burly man, tossed his trousers to his new bride. He said, “Here, put these on.”

She put them on and the waist was twice the size of her body.

“I can’t wear your trousers.” she said.

“That’s right,” said the husband, “and don’t you ever forget it. I’m the man who wears the pants in this family.”

With that she flipped him her panties and said, “Try these on.”

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