The Toast …..

Pat O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me lovely wife!” That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night! All the guys in the bar laughed.

He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night. “She said, “Aye, what was your toast?” Pat said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church beside me wife.”

“Oh that is very nice indeed, Pat!” Mary said.

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One for St Patrick’s Day ….

Mrs. Donovan was walking down O’Connell Street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty.

The Father said, “Top O’ the mornin’ to ye! Aren’t ye Mrs. Donovan and didn’t I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?”

She replied, “Aye, that ye did, Father.” The Father asked, “And be there any wee little ones yet?”

She replied, “No, not yet, Father.”

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Two Irish Catholics…..

Two Irishmen were sitting at a pub having beer and watching the brothel across the street.

They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel, and one of them said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see a man of the cloth goin’ bad.”

Then they saw a rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irishman said, “Aye, ’tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin’ victim to temptation as well.”

Then they see a catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, “What a terrible pity…one of the girls must be dying.