Incontinence

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Politician

A politician was riding home in his official car and noticed two men sitting on the side of the road eating grass, he told his driver to stop and investigate.

His driver went to the two men and asked, “Sirs why are you eating grass?”

The first man replied, “I have no money and must eat grass”.

The driver told the politician. The politician would not hear of it and said, “Come to my house and I will feed you”.

The man stated, “Sir I have a wife and three children”, and then the second man spoke up and said, “I have a wife and six children”.

The politician replied, “It is ok bring them all, there is enough for everyone”.

It takes about twenty minutes to get everyone into the car and they are on their way.Shortly after the two men are totally overtaken and are saying to the politician, “Sir we do not know how to thank you and we are not able to repay you, thank you for your kindness”. Continue reading

Help the Rabbi …..

A rabbi gets in front of his congregation and says that he is leaving to go to a larger congregation that can pay him more.

There is a hush—no one wants him to leave. Sol Epstein, who owns several car dealerships in the city, stands up and proclaims, “If the rabbi stays, I will provide him with a new Cadillac every year and his wife with a minivan to transport their children!” The congregation applauds.

Sam Goldstein, a successful entrepreneur and investor, stands and says, “If the rabbi will stay, I’ll personally double his salary, and also will establish a foundation to guarantee the college education of all his children!” The congregation cheers again.

Sadie Goldfarb, age 88, stands and announces with a smile, “If the Rabbi stays, I will give him sex!” There is total silence.

The rabbi, blushing, asks her, “Mrs. Goldfarb, whatever possessed you to say that?”

Sadie’s 90-year-old husband Jacob is now trying to hide, holding his forehead in the palm of his hand and shaking his head from side to side while his wife replies, “Well, I just asked my husband how we could help, and he said, ‘Screw the Rabbi.’