Stranded on a Desert Island

A married couple has been stranded on a deserted island for many years. One day another man washes up on shore. He and the wife become attracted to each other right away, but realize they must be creative if they are to engage in any hanky-panky. The husband, however, is very glad to see the second man there.

“Now we will be able to have three people doing eight hour shifts in the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12-hour shifts.”

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Dates don’t always go to well …..

A guy is on a date with this girl, so he takes her to Lover’s Lane.

When they get up there, she says, ”I have to be honest with you, I’m a hooker.” The guy thinks about this for a short time and says it’s okay. He agrees to pay her $25 and they start having sex.

After they finish, the guy says, ”I have to be honest with you now. I’m a cab driver and it’ll cost you $25 for me to drive you back into town.”

You know what they say about sailors …..

A sailor pulled into a little town Late in the evening and every hotel room was taken.

“You’ve got to have a room somewhere,” he pleaded. “Or just a bed, I don’t care where.”

“Well, I do have a double room with one occupant — an Air Force guy,” admitted the manager, “and he might be glad to split the cost. But to tell you the truth, he snores so loudly that people in adjoining rooms have complained in the past. I’m not sure it’d be worth it to you.”

“No problem,” the tired Navy man assured him. “I’ll take it.”

The next morning, the sailor came down to breakfast bright-eyed and bushy tailed. “How’d you sleep?” asked the manager. “Never better.”

The manager was impressed. “No problem with the other guy snoring?”

“Nope. I shut him up in no time,” said the Navy guy.

“How’d you manage that?” asked the manager.

“He was already in bed, snoring away, when I came in the room,” the sailor explained. “I went over, gave him a kiss on the cheek, and said, ‘Goodnight beautiful,’…And he sat up all night watching me.”

Technological breakthrough …..

Apple Computer announced today that it has developed a computer chip that can store and play high fidelity music in women’s breast implants.

“The iTit” will cost between £399.00 and £599.00 depending on speaker size.

This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women have always complained about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them