From: ________ , _______
Sent: 09 January 2012 09:53
Subject: FW: The Afghan Footballer
Because if he isn’t really your father, you can keep doing your sister.
A teacher asks her class to make a sentence using the word dough.
Little Alice says, “In Italy they make pizza out of special dough”. Excellent says the teacher.
Little Mary says, “My brother makes dinosaurs out of playdough”. Well done says the teacher.
Little Johnny raises his hand, “Yes Johnny, what do you want to say?” asks the teacher. Continue reading
The Power of Alcohol
A man is waiting for his wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his son and raises him as well as he can, with love and compassion.
After 21 years, the son is now old enough for his first drink. Dad takes him to the bar, tearfully tells the son he is proud of him and orders up the biggest, strongest drink for his boy. With all the bar patrons looking on curiously and the bartender shaking his head in disbelief, the boy takes his first sip of alcohol.
Teacher asks “Tim, why is your cat at school today?”
Enter to see picture.
Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.
Bruce bravely walks up to him and says “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”
Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”
Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”
I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber.
My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs.
Little Johnny went up to his dad and asked, “Hey daddy, what’s politics?”
His dad replied, “Son, I’m the breadwinner of the family, so we’ll call me Capitilism, your mother will be the Government, our nanny will be the working class, you will be the people, and your little baby brother will be the future. Now go to your room and think about what i said.”