A third grade teacher asked her class to come back the next day with a story that you can attach a moral to.

The next day,the first little girl went to the front. “Me and my daddy run a farm and when we went to sell our eggs the basket tipped over and we lost all our eggs. my moral:don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”

A little boy came to the front. “Me and my dad run a farm too,and only six of the twelve eggs hatched in the morel:don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

A second little girl came up and said: “My uncle Eddie was a fighter pilot in Vietnam, and was shot down over enemy territory. All he had floating down was a bottle of whiskey,a machine gun,and a machette. He drank the whiskey to not waste it and landed in the middle of a hundred vietnamese soldiers. He killed seventy with the machine gun,twenty with the machette before it broke,and ten with his bare hands.”

“O my god! How does that have a moral to it?”her teacher asked.

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Fun in the woods

Alfie sees his Dad’s car drive passed the playground and go into the woods.

Curious, he follows the car and sees hid Dad and Aunt Jackie kissing.

Alfie finds this ever so exciting and  runs home and to tell hs mum.

Breathlessly he cries out ,”Mummy, mummy, I was at the playground and Daddy and ….”

His mum tells his to slow down, as she want s to hear the full story.

So Alfie tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy and Aunt Jackie in Daddy’s car go into the woods. I went to look and I saw Daddy giving Aunt Jackie a big kiss, then Daddy helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jackie helped Daddy take his trousers down, then Aunt Jackie climbed into the back f the car and laid down, then Daddy….”

At this point, his Mum interrupted him and said, “Alfie, this is such an interesting story, why don’t we save the rest of it for dinner time so we can see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”

So later, at dinner, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story.

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Fishing Trip

So Little Johnny and his grandfather go fishing one summer day. They get to the lake early, and after an hour or so, Johnny’s grandfather pulls out a Cuban cigar and begins smoking it. Johnny watches in fascination for a moment before asking, “Grampa what’s that?”

“Why Johnny, that’s a cigar. Men smoke cigars.”

“Well, can I try it?” Continue reading

Agony Aunt Letter …..

Dear Editor,

I have two brothers, one works at Microsoft, the other was sentenced to death in the gas chamber.

My mother died of insanity when I was three years old, my two sisters are prostitutes and my father sells drugs.

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The Young nowadays just don’t have respect for others ……

At one point during a game, the coach called one of his 9-year-old baseball players aside and asked, “Do you understand what cooperation is? What a team is?”

The little boy nodded in the affirmative.

“Do you understand that what matters is whether we win or lose together as a team?” The little boy nodded yes.

“So,” the coach continued, “I’m sure you know, when an out is called, you shouldn’t argue, curse, attack the umpire, or call him a pecker-head. Do you understand all that?”

Again the little boy nodded.

He continued, “And when I take you out of the game so another boy gets a chance to play, it’s not good sports- manship to call your coach “a dumb asshole” is it?”

Again the little boy nodded.

“Good,” said the coach. “Now go over there and explain all that to your grandmother.”