Public Embarrasment …..

An old lady went to her doctor asking for help with her sex life.

“Why don’t you just give your husband a viagra?” asked the doctor.

“He wont even take an asprin he hates pills”, the old lady replied. 

“Just put it in his coffee he will never know. Come back in a week and tell me how things went.”

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Two Elderley Men …..

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other and says, “Slim, I’m 83 years old now and I’m just full of aches and pains. I know you’re about my age. How do you feel?”

Slim says, “I feel just like a newborn baby.”

“Really!? Like a newborn baby!?”

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Not everything slows down when you grow old …..

The old farmer had a large pond in the back, fixed up nicely with picnic tables, a barbecue pit, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming when it was built.

One evening, the old guy decided to go down to the pond and look it over. He hadn’t been there for a while. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.

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Speed …..

Sitting on the side of the road waiting to catch speeding drivers, A state trooper sees a car puttering along at 22 mph. He thinks To himself, “This driver is as dangerous as a speeder!”

So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching The car, he notices that there are five elderly ladies – two in the Front seat and three in the back, wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver, obviously confused, says to him, “Officer, I don’t Understand. I was going the exact speed limit. What seems to Be the problem?” The trooper trying to contain a chuckle, Explains to her that 22 was the route number, not the speed Limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the Officer for pointing out her error. “But before you go, Ma’am, I have to ask, is everyone in this car OK? These women seem Awfully shaken.”

“Oh, they’ll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 127!”