What would you do if you won the lottery?

Paddy and Mick sat having a pint. A lorry goes past with rolls of turf on it.

Paddy says, “Im gonna do that when i win the lottery”.

Mick says, “What, drive a wagon?”

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One Dieing Wish

A nun gets onto a bus, which is empty apart from her and the driver.

She says, “I’m going to die soon, but I want to have sex before I do. I must remain a virgin, so it shall have to be anal, I can’t commit adultery, so the man must be single, can you fulfil my wish?”

“Yes”, says the drive, and eagerly carries out the nuns wish.

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Poor Old Bob

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to the local strip club for some fun.

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Cab Driver …..

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

“Mummy,” said the little boy, “what are all those ladies doing?”

“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off of work,” she replied.

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The Truck Driver and the Hooker …..

There was this truck driver who was driving around looking for a hooker.

He stops at a junction and sees this really sexy blonde, so he picks her up and takes her to a really nice hotel.

They both lay on the bed and begin having sex. For some reason it was hurting to bad for him to stick his dick in her, so she tells him to hold on a second.

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