Alien Invasion

I just opened my freezer and saw a little alien masturbating.

I said, “What do you think you’re doing?”

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Scientific Break Through

Scientists have revealed that sperm helps hair grow.

That explains why lots of men have hairy knuckles, but its got me wondering about my nan’s moustache!

Nun goes into confessional

“Father, I need to confess, I think I’m pregnant.” she says to the priest.

He asks how this could have happened, to which she replies, “I think it must be the second coming Father.”

The priest, shocked by this remark, replies, “And why do you think it is the second coming?” Continue reading

Don’t always do exactly as you’re told

I was at a party last night and the DJ played “Sit Down” by James, so we all sat down.

He then played “Jump Around” by House of Pain, so we all jumped around.

Then he played Dexys Midnight Runners “Come on Eileen”. Continue reading