Office Party Consequences

 

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The Purple Spotted Penis

While in China , an American man is very sexually promiscuous and does not use a condom all the time. A week after arriving back home in the States, he wakes one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots.. Horrified, he immediately goes to see a doctor.

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, orders some tests and tells the man to return in two days for the results. The man returns a couple of days later and the doctor says, ‘I’ve got bad news for you — you’ve contracted Mongolian VD. It’s very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.’

The man looks a little perplexed and says: ‘Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.’

The doctor answers: ‘I’m sorry, there’s no known cure. We’re going to have to amputate your penis.’

The man screams in horror, ‘Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.’

The doctor replies: ‘Well, it’s your choice.. Go ahead if you want but surgery is your only choice.’

The next day the man seeks out a Chinese doctor figuring that he’ll know more about the disease. The Chinese doctor examines his penis and proclaims: ‘Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.’

The guy says to the doctor: ‘Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My American doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!’

The Chinese doctor shakes his head and laughs: ‘Stupid American doctors, always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate!’

‘Oh, Thank God!’ the man replies.

‘ Yes,’ says the Chinese doctor, ‘You no worry! Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself.

Misinterpretation

My attractive Chinese naeighbour called around the other day. I let her in and asked her what was up.

She said, “Could you help me please?” I replied of course, what do you need?

She replied, “I desperateley need a Roger”.

Thinking my luck was in i smiled and said, “No problem there”.

But as i began to unbuckle my trousers she began to scream. Continue reading

Chinese Torture …..

A man was lost and tired from walking all day after his car had broken down in the middle of a highway,when he came across a small house in the middle of nowhere.

He knocked on the door to find an old Chinese man living in the house.The man asked if he could stay the night and would be gone in the morning.

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