Memory Loss

An Elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.

Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally.”

On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money–fifty-thousand dollars.

Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”

Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.

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Women in control

I sat there with a smile on my face as my girlfriend wrapped her hand around it and started to tug at it.

An even bigger smile when she gave it a little wiggle and started moving it around.

I couldn’t contain myself when she started using two hands, so I eventually cried out:

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Another Blonde Joke

One winter morning at breakfast a couple was listening to the radio. They heard the announcer say, “We are going to have 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through.” The wife went out and moved her car.

A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 10-12 inches of snow today, you will need to move your car to the odd-numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through.” So the wife went out and moved her car again.

The next week, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer said, “We are expecting 12-14 inches of snow today and you must park…” Then the power went off! The wife was very upset. With a worried look on her face she said, “Honey, I don’t know what to do. Which side of the street am I supposed to park on?”

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Fun in the woods

Alfie sees his Dad’s car drive passed the playground and go into the woods.

Curious, he follows the car and sees hid Dad and Aunt Jackie kissing.

Alfie finds this ever so exciting and  runs home and to tell hs mum.

Breathlessly he cries out ,”Mummy, mummy, I was at the playground and Daddy and ….”

His mum tells his to slow down, as she want s to hear the full story.

So Alfie tells her. “I was at the playground and I saw Daddy and Aunt Jackie in Daddy’s car go into the woods. I went to look and I saw Daddy giving Aunt Jackie a big kiss, then Daddy helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jackie helped Daddy take his trousers down, then Aunt Jackie climbed into the back f the car and laid down, then Daddy….”

At this point, his Mum interrupted him and said, “Alfie, this is such an interesting story, why don’t we save the rest of it for dinner time so we can see the look on Daddy’s face when you tell it tonight.”

So later, at dinner, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story.

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