Don’t always bet on a certainty

A drunk man walked into a pub, walking upto the bar he told told the barman, “I’ll bet you £100 that I can bite my right eye.”

The barman grinned and said, “Okay, you’re on.” The drunk pulled out his right fake eye and bit it.

After more drinks the drunk said, “I bet you £200 I can bite my left eye.” The barman knew it could not be fake, so he said, “Okay.”The drunk pulled out his false teeth and bit his left eye.

After a few more drinks, the drunk said, “I’ll bet you £500 that if you slide a glass down the bar, I can hop on each stool and pee in it without getting a drop on your bar.” The barman knew he could not do it so he said okay. The barman slid the glass as fast as he could.

The drunk jumped on stools and peed all over the bar. The barman jumped up and screamed in joy because he’d won £500. In the back he heard, a man yelling in frustration. He asked the man why he was screaming?

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Poor Old Bob

Bob works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday.

His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to the local strip club for some fun.

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The Nun and the Fig Leaf …..

A nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant.

The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and every once in a while the lights would turn off. Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers. However, when the revelers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, “May I please use the restroom?”

The bartender replied, “OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.”

“Well, in that case, I’ll just look the other way,” said the nun.

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