Babys Weight

A woman & a baby visit the doctors.

The doctor is concerned about the baby’s weight. “Is he bottle or breast-fed?” he asks.

“Breast-fed?” says the woman.

He asks her to strip to the waist, pinches & sucks her nipples & rubs both tits for a while, “No wonder he’s under weight you’ve no milk”.

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Cab Driver …..

A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers were standing under the awnings.

“Mummy,” said the little boy, “what are all those ladies doing?”

“They’re waiting for their husbands to get off of work,” she replied.

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Peter Kay’s John Smiths Ads …..

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Marriage – The 6yr old version …..

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”

“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”

“How about transportation?” the father asked.

“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”

“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.

“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”