James Bond’s watch

A very confident James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman.

He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch for a moment.

The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”

“No,” he replies, “Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it.”

The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?”!

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Tickle Me Elmo Dolls

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms.

Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am.

The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager’s door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new Employee.

He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.

The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo’s all over the factory floor and they’re really beginning to pile up.

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A Swinging Time

An Alien couple travelled down to earth to visit a swinging party.

They swapped partners with an earth couple and went off to their respective bedrooms. The alien man takes off his clothes to reveal a less than impressive sized penis. The woman is clearly not impressed.

The alien then twists his right ear and his penis grows to 10 inches in length. The woman is suddenly pleased with what she sees.

The alien then twists his left ear and his penis becomes 2 inches thick before then giving the woman the best time she has ever had.

Afterwards she meets back up with her husband and asks him what experience he had.

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