A second chance …..

One time, an Italian, a Frenchman, and a Colombian all died and met each other in heaven. They were all decent people so God told them that they could all get a second chance to live again, under one condition:

If they did the thing that they liked to do the most, they would instantly be brought back to heaven.

The guys all thought that it was a sweet deal and accepted and thanked God.When they got back to Earth, they talked and they found out what each other’s favorite thing to do was. The Italian loved to eat pizza. The Frenchman loved to touch money. And the Colombian loved to have sex.

As they continued talking, the Italian saw a pizzeria right in front of them. He couldn’t resist himself and he ran, grabbed a slice of pizza, bit into it and *poof* he disaperared. The Frenchman and the Colombian didn’t worry much about it and they just started walking down the street together.

The Frenchman saw something shiny on the ground and realized that it was a coin. He quickly bent down to grab it and *poof* the Colombian disapeared

Selective breeding …..


A farmer buys a young rooster to impregnate his chickens. The young rooster struts into the barn and yells to the old rooster, “Get out, old man! This is my barn now!”

“Tell you what,” says the old rooster. “I’ll race you around the farm, winner gets all the chicks.”

The old rooster takes off toward the front of the house with the young rooster chasing him. The farmer takes one look at the roosters, pulls out his shotgun, and blows the young one away.

“Dammit,” says the farmer. “That’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month!”

The frozen skunk …..

A man and his wife were driving home one very cold night when the wife asks her husband to stop the car. There was a baby skunk lying at the side of the road, and she got out to see if it was still alive. It was, and she said to her husband, “It’s nearly frozen to death. Can we take it with us, get it warm, and let it go in the morning?”He says, “O.K., Get in the car with it.”

“Where shall I put it to get it warm?”

He says, “Put it in between your legs. It’s nice and warm there.

“But what about the smell?”

“Just hold its nose.”

The Artist …..

An artist asked the gallery owner if there had been any interest in his paintings on display at that time.”I have good news and bad news,” the owner replied. “The good news is that a gentleman inquired about your work and wondered if it would appreciate in value after your death.When I told him it would, he bought all 15 of your paintings.”

“That’s wonderful,” the artist exclaimed. “What’s the bad news?”

“The guy was your doctor.”