Marriage – The 6yr old version …..

A six-year-old boy told his father he wanted to marry the little girl across the street. The father, being modern and well-schooled in handling children, hid his smile behind his hand.

“That’s a serious step,” he said. “Have you thought it out completely?”

“Yes,” his young son answered. “We can spend one week in my room and the next in hers. It’s right across the street, so I can run home if I get scared of the dark.”

“How about transportation?” the father asked.

“I have my wagon, and we both have our tricycles,” the little boy answered.

The boy had an answer to every question the father raised.

Finally, in exasperation, his dad asked, “What about babies? When you’re married, you’re liable to have babies, you know.”

“We’ve thought about that, too,” the little boy replied.

“We’re not going to have babies. Every time she lays an egg, I’m going to step on it!”

Doctor’s exmination …..

One day Bob was in the doctors office when his Dr. told him that he needed a rectal examination.

So the doctor did it and at the end told Bob “Well I found out that you have a small rectal disease but if you take this suppository tonight you’ll be fine”.

So Bob gets home and asks his wife to put the suppository in his ass. So his wife takes off Bobs pants and puts one hand on his shoulder. When Bob sees this he screams.

When his wife asks him whats wrong, he replies

“I just realised that when the doctor gave me my rectal examination, he put both hands on my shoulders!”

The Mechanical arm …..

A man lost both arms and was fitted with a voice activated mechanical arm and hand. It was programmed to do whatever the man said.

One day in a bar, he went to the washroom to relieve himself. “Pull down my zipper.” and the arm and hand pulled down the zipper. “Take out my penis and hold it while I pee.” The arm followed the instruction.

Once finished and realizing he was alone in the washroom,and wanting some masterbation time, he said, “Ok, arm jerk it off!”

The arm yanked off his penis and left the man in extreme pain.

He screamed “Fuck Me!” The arm took the penis and shoved it up his rear end over and over again.

The man yelled, ” Cocksucker!………”

Supernatural Sex …..

There was a convention of psychics and supernaturalists and one of the topics discussed was “Meetings with ghosts”.

The speaker asked the gathering who has ever seen a ghost. A large number of participants raised their hands.

He then asked the group who has actually had physical contact with the supernatural. Again, a large number of people raised their hands.

He then asked if anyone had ever had sex with a ghost. One man in the back row raised his hand sheepishly.

“You sir, in the back. You have actually had sex with a ghost?”

The man in the back says “What?”

“I repeat, you said you had sex with a ghost? Please tell us more.”

The man replied “Oops! Sorry. I thought you said goat!”