Tim to the Rescue …..

Teacher asks “Tim, why is your cat at school today?”

The perfect gentleman …..

During a good manners and etiquette class being held for young children, the teacher says to her students:

“If you were courting a well educated young girl from a prominent family and during a dinner for two you needed to go to the toilet, what would you say to her?”

The Ass Family …..

Enter to see picture.

Advice Column …..

A lady writes in to her local newspaper’s advice column:

‘Hi, I think that my son might have a marijuana plant growing in my kitchen. What should I do?’

The next day, the answer was posted in the paper:

Insects …..

A boy and his father were playing ball in the front yard when the boy saw a honeybee. He ran over and stomped it.

“Don’t do that, that was a honeybee,” his father said, “he wasn’t doing anything to you. For killing him you will do without honey for a week.”

In Love …..

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny’s father to ask him for her hand.

Bruce bravely walks up to him and says “Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you for her hand in marriage.”

Thinking that this was just the cutest thing, Mr. Smith replies, “Well Bruce, you are only 10. Where will you two live?”

Without even taking a moment to think about it, Bruce replies “In Jenny’s room. It’s bigger than mine and we can both fit there nicely.”

Stand If You’re a Moron …..

One day a college professor was greeting his new college class.

He stood up in front of the class and asked if anyone in the class was a moron, and if they were, they should stand.

After a minute a young man stood up. The professor then asked the kid if he actually thought he was a moron.